20. Worry

The final entry in 20 Things to Give Up for Lent, even though Lent is over. Worry. It'll eat you alive if you let it. We all know that it does no good and it can consume us and devour us and cause all sorts of problems. But we do it because we want to participate in our demise and hold on to our grief and pains and problems to feel we are at least playing a part and somehow controlling this gravity holding our lives together. But will we ever learn that it simply doesn't work that way? That worry gets us no where. Worry is nothing more than a lack of trust in God. What would our lives be like if we truly did as He asked us and not worry about what we would eat or drink or wear? To trust Him for every single thing that we could ever need? I learned a lot from the poor about trusting and living by faith and believing in a God who has to show up or you'll die. I can never put myself in their shoes but they showed me what unwavering faith looks like. I've learned to hold onto the peace. I remember boarding a plane one time in Atlanta headed for Mozambique and realizing that I had the wrong visa. I had a 30 day visa instead of a 180 day one. I would have to leave the country every 30 days, a very costly trip. My mind wanted to freak but my heart said, "I trust you." I watched how God used that whole possibly bankrupting event and used it to get me precisely where I am today. If I had not had the wrong visa, I never would have gone to Zambia. Friends I met there would not have told me about their friend in Nashville and I would not be here, making money, writing curriculum and planning my next adventure. Nor would I own that really great painting I bought at the market in Lusaka. All that seemed like a disaster was in retrospect, a little detour right into the very center of where I was supposed to be. Now when I start to want to worry, which occurs most daily, I remind myself of my own testimonies and sometimes of yours. Write them on your heart, you'll need them.