13. Feelings of unworthiness

"I cannot afford to have a thought in my head that is not in His."- Bill Johnson

I think about this quote from Bill a lot. I know what the voices sound like that tell me that I am not enough, that I am unworthy and unless I am able to jump through certain hoops and hurdles I will remain unworthy. "You are only worthy if you are a success...and have a job." "You are not 'worthy' as a size 8, only a 6 and even then a 4 would be better." What Bill is saying is that it is completely a waste and totally absurd to fill our heads with these lies. God's plans and thoughts toward us are so insanely good. His adoration of us is never-ending and completely unconditional. 

Apologies for continuing to reference Brene' Brown, but she just says it so sweetly.



She says it in more detail HERE.

One of my greatest enjoyments in this, my current life, is fast internet and a Netflix Subscription. I am slowly working my way through all episodes of BBC's Call the Midwife and Foyle's War. When poverty and childbirth and war in England get too heavy I switch over to TLC's What Not To Wear. Every episode is the same. A woman feeling completely unworthy of love and belonging, lets herself go. And not in a good way. A bad way. Cat t-shirts and Mom Jeans way. A recent episode was about a woman who wore no make-up and often dressed in men's slacks and polo shirts. When I saw her, I thought, "She's been abused." It was so obvious that she didn't have to say anything. You can just tell that she is hiding and doesn't want to be seen and she fears her femininity because some creep abused her. My heart breaks with every episode, but every single time these women begin to get set free. They have been fed the lie for so long that they are unworthy that they give up or they have been so abused and taken advantage of that they put up very huge walls and protect themselves by becoming invisible. Two completely untrained counselors spend a week telling this woman that she is worthy and she begins to believe. 

You are worthy! You are worthy of love and belonging. I am too. When we get these in our hearts and in our heads everything changes.