5. Impatience

"Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly in Him who has all things safely in His hands."- Elisabeth Elliot 

I keep hoping that one of these won't apply- the day when I will have to write humbly, "This is something with which I do not struggle." But nope. Patience!? I don't have it. I have the attention span of a three year old. I multitask in all that I do. I sprint through the grocery store. I don't like meandering. I hate driving around without a set destination. I don't like going to the movies because it means I have to sit still for 90 minutes. I hate having to get a hair cut because it requires just sitting there and I would never ever get my hair colored there because that means sitting there for all eternity! 

The Mozambicans taught me a great deal about being patient in daily life. They are masters at sitting and waiting. They are a patient people. They get in the three hour queue and stand and wait so beautifully and patiently. It didn't take me long to learn, always carry a book. We sell a throw pillow in our Etsy shop of Galeria dos Sonhos that reads in Swahili, "Hurry, hurry has no blessings." They understand that rushing around will get you nowhere. They walk everywhere they go at a slow pace, never briskly as they know they will get there eventually and when the time is right. They are more focused on the events of each day, the walk it takes to get there is not an means to an end, but part of the process and one to be cherished, savored and enjoyed. Even my book was only a crutch in the process of learning to embrace the day and the time spent with those around me.  

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Missionary Elisabeth Elliot who spent two years ministering to the Auca tribe who killed her husband writes “I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.” I want to be patient in the small things and enjoy simply being with those around me, both foreign and familiar. I also want to be patient in the big unknowns for which I feel like the queue I am in has a 10 year wait. Since October, I have been praying, "Where next, Lord?". Lately, He has been giving me glimpses as to why I am still in waiting and that helps. He is so patient and kind and knows that we are dust and knows I need a book to read while I wait in line. He has been so kind to give me entertainment as I wait, like this sweet trip to Charleston.  

A couple of weeks ago Natty woke me in the middle of the night, in train pajamas hugging a teddy bear around its neck. The vision was priceless, this oversized five year old, brave as a lion all day long, afraid because of strange noises, seeking refuge in my arms. My response without hesitation was to welcome him in and hold him tight. I remember praying, "Thank you for this moment." I have missed that boy and his siblings more than words can say. It felt so good to have him so very close and not so horribly far, far away. As I patiently wait for the next steps I want to remain grateful for these moments, walking slowly, receiving every blessing along the way. 

 

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