an anniversary

five years ago today i landed at the airport up the street. the Pemba Airport. i rode in the back of a flatbed truck with about 25 other people and our assortment of backpacks and duffle bags. i had a small child in my lap. the son of a family whom i had met in the airport in Tanzania who was also coming to the school. i almost skipped the school entirely when i freaked out in London and almost bought a ticket to Toulouse to avoid having to spend 10 weeks in a foreign land. it was dark when we arrived and the now familiar smell of burning trash hung in the air. not going to Toulouse forever changed me. we passed my current home on the way to the other base that night. in my wildest dreams i never imagined that i would one day be coming here to stay. but i will never forget that ride in the truck and how arriving here was monumental. now when i ride down that road in my scooter, it still takes my breath away a little. so does seeing the Gold Dome in the Atlanta skylight. random things that stir emotion. now when i scoot down the hill i wish i could show it off. you get an expansive view of the city and the sea and i wish i could ride with my dad down the hill and show him my new home. 

something has shifted upon my return, in a good way. i feel more at home than ever before. i spent last weekend nesting and unpacking and putting away my things. Aunt Phylis and i bought fabric in South Carolina and i covered my foam mattress on my rope bed in the living room and made pillows. i plugged my new juicer into the 110v box by my bed with all my other Western electronics. i love making morning blends of matapa (kale), carrot and beet juices with apples or pineapple and ginger. i went to the barraca and got lightbulbs for my made in China lamps and now have soft lighting. i made a bed skirt with crisp white fabric and upholstery nails and a hammer. i braved the chaos of town and bargained with the little boys selling fruit and vegetables in plastic bags and brought home oranges, tomatoes, eggplant and lemons. the scooter is broken once again and i walk in the mornings to school. i love the mornings to walk and think. 

my students are amazing. we have almost 60 now! how i wish you could see them. they have forced me to use what Portuguese i know and we are teaching one another. they all struggle with lives i could never comprehend. i can feel their frustrations and fear. i love it when they come to me but at times i feel so helpless. i cannot allow the desperation consume me. i have to lead them to a higher hope and i have to remain convincing! life here is so different. words cannot describe it.  i have to hold on to my own hope to be able to carry it to them. it is not hard and comes through simple surrender, daily. but it just means that all my independence and do-it-myself attitude has to die, every day until i learn. i will get there. i have come a long way in the last five years and am trying to be patient with myself. i have hit the ground running here and have taken over school courses as Rodrigo got malaria a few days after i got back and is now in South Africa renewing his Visa. we have a small team here for one week who have offered to help me with the afternoon classes. the team consists of a doctor and a nurse who will be teaching basic healthcare. Gena Cauthen sent small business curriculum back with me and i taught from it last week. our kids are coming so faithfully and anxious to get started on something tangible. i still do not quite yet know what these programs are going to look like and how they are going to work. as they evolve, i will let you know. we have many ideas and a few things in the works. i want our students to be prepared when we do start to create businesses and do not want to set them up for failure by giving them something that they cannot yet steward. one of our boys, Baptista, who went with us on the field trip to the farm a few months ago now wants to be a farmer! he spent the day at our farm yesterday to see if he might want to move out there and work full time. i am anxious to hear about his experience. he and his sister, Sophia, come so faithfully and are so bright and beautiful. it is fun to start to see the fruit. 

i am loving living here. i am loving be back. my visit to Georgia was so much fun. i had an absolute blast despite staying really busy. but when the time came, i was ready. i was able to get rejuvenated and i physically feel so much better. the weather has been incredible and will soon be nicer here than in my beloved Hotlanta. i still have an “issue” with my visa. i am praying that that will all work out and i will not have to leave the country. feel free to join with me on that one.