so in that moment, when my boss is telling me that i am being released from my job of ten years, all i could honestly think of was that i was free. i was instantly free to go and dream and do. in that moment, there was very little sadness or anxiety because i was simply elated that i could join this team in going to africa and helping to start this vocational school. and now, a month later, the time has come. i admit that for a moment recently, i thought perhaps i should not go. perhaps i should stay home and look for jobs and send out resumes and i felt all this pressure to go back to the confines of a 9-5 and be responsible. i still feel that pressure in a way. i feel that our society functions around jobs and careers and being in a season of not having one is harder to adopt that i ever imagined. but i am free. totally free. it is hard to get my head around this little respite of freedom. yes, i have bills to pay and a mortgage and this freedom won't last long. i just got back from a trip, again, feeling guilty for traveling whilst i should be looking for a job. but. i don't even quite know what i want to do or where i want to live, so how can i even begin to seek out a job right now? the question is rhetorical, please don't answer. and the last think i want to do is step into ten more years of obligation and duty and become a slave to a career that is not even what i want do to. so i got away. i went to DC, thanks to airtran and dear friends and a free place to stay and a ministry called prayDC. i spent 5 days in our nations capitol, simply looking, seeking, dreaming and praying. even the prayers seemed tiny and more like, "Lord, help", than much of anything else. i walked Capitol Hill, watched the House debate, skipped up and down Embassy Row, simply observing. i took a good hard look at it all. would i want to move to DC? would i want to work for a Senator? Lobby? i don't think so. i loved Embassy Row. i love anything dealing with international policy. that fascinates me way more than any debate on a national farming bill or constituent services or tax reform. so i walked up and down and watched people and prayed, "Lord, help". i thought about what it would be like to be an ambassador, dreamed about USAID and what foreign service would look like and wondered if it was really as full of bureaucracy and a bunch of do-nothing desk jobs as i have been told. i wondered if i could ever have influence, among leaders, could i really play a role in shaping policy? can i help the poor, be a voice for the voiceless, help eliminate corruption, create good policy, allocate funds, feed the hungry, bring justice, healthcare, education, hope.
(photo courtesy of michaela potterbaum)
meanwhile, my friends are booking their flights to Africa and are asking when i plan to arrive. i don't have a job. i am walking up and down the streets of DC starring at people and wondering if i can leave next week for a month long trip in Africa. twice a month for ten years, money got dropped into my bank account. not anymore. what do i even know about vocational school administration? or forming a nonprofit? or feeding the hungry? or educating the poor? not much. but i have a tiny loaf and i am willing to sacrifice it. i leave monday. i "bought" a buddy pass for my birthday in August and will be using it to fly to Johannesburg. today i bought a friday flight out to pemba, mozambique. pray for favor and that i get on Mondays flight. i will return April 14th. i wish you could see the massive grin on my face right now. elated. happy. excited. embarrassed at myself for even doubting for a minute that i should not go. i have to go. why NOT go?
if you would like to help in donating toward my trip,you may. Beulah Church has agreed to take in donations for me, so you can donate through a 501c3. make checks payable to Beulah PHC, and mail them to my kind mother:
Jene Davis
7406 Reed Creek Highway
Hartwell, GA 30643
and know that i covet your prayers. pray that we are able to come up with a curriculum and a plan and strategy for creating a vocational school to educate these young people. a plan that coincides with their culture and ways of learning, a plan that will equip them, will create jobs, will change the economy in this poor little town and revolutionize it. and pray that i get on the flight and i don't die of cholera (see previous entry).
so the little blog could get interesting. i will for sure come here and post updates. sadly, mozambique dial-up internet doesn't really allow for uploading pictures, but i will update as frequently as possible and i plan to take my laptop this time. i will fill you in on it all and will also take my lovely Canon t1i and capture sweet faces to upload when i get back. i will be back before you know it, perfecting a resume and applying for jobs. for now, i have to do this. my suitcase is open on the floor as i unpack from DC and repack for Africa. i cannot believe i get to live this life. thank you for reading, your words of encouragement and cheering me on. much love, grace
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