no way! seriously? what? you're kidding me? really? yipeeeee!

My jaw is still on the floor. I think Jesus is who He says He is. Not just think, I know. I am innately this person with extreme child-like faith. At the same time, I am always a skeptic? But I always check the front porch for packages, even though I never order anything and I expect God to show up, because He always does. It is usually never quite like we think, and sometimes we miss it altogether, but He is constantly speaking and acting on our behalf.

All of this sounds silly, but it is all about desire, big or small and God's faithfulness. As you know by now, I want a MacBook Pro. The Mason jar set aside to collect change and extra bills to eventually amount to $2,000 never contained more than $17. As I talked to God about all my wants and desires and dreams, a MacBook was just a small part of it all. However, the goal of earning enough money to buy one launched me into this current "moonlighting" situation. I am finally at the point, almost, where all bills are paid, and I am about to be making money. I am delighted. I need to practice constraint and set money aside as my ultimate goal is to build up a fund to send me to Africa or wherever He wants me. However, the MacBook is vital to communication, spreading the word, making music and seeing the faces of my nieces and nephews, and yours too. So, despite being selfish and shallow, it is on the list. Also on the list is a Yamaha P85. When I started taking keys lessons with Leslie, she told me this is what I needed to get. They are cheap by good keyboard standards, but still $600. That's a lot of lobster tails and bottles of Cakebread Chardonnay. I spent a good bit of time, pricing them and planning when, where and how I could get my very own P85.

This weekend on my way to Alabama, my friend Jill  and fellow BSSM student and I started talking about music and songs and writing and I told her a little bit about my dreams and how I want to write some things and about the Art. Sound. Outlet. and my taking keys lessons and how I was having so much fun with it all. I told her I was saving up for a P85 and that I was, surprisingly, quite serious about it and enjoying it all so much. (She is a trained Classical pianist). Mike, also a BSSM student, was in the backseat and chimed in and told me he had a Yamaha P85. Then he said, he might sell it. Maybe. He would have to think about it.

Ugh! "Think". How much longer? Think "yes" or think "no". Hurry up. The conversation ended and although anxious to manipulate him to sell it to me, I let it go. :)

I saw him at class last night and guess what? He GAVE IT TO MEEEEEEE!!!! For free. Nada. I get to keep my money! I brought her home last night! Pounded on her until midnight and am still smiling so big.

Yet the message is bigger than a free $600 keyboard. I am a little freaked out. I told God I wanted to make music and he set me up to get instruction from the very best, with Paulette and Molly and Leslie and now he is giving me the tools to do it. Free. Now I feel like I HAVE to do it. The doubt of IF has been removed and all excuses taken away. He is saying, "Here you go. All the tools you need. Now pour it out". I cannot doubt or question Him. I think this is going to be big, no longer contained to my living room. Yet no clue how, when, where or why. Just happy. In awe like most days. In love. Tickled. Lesson tonight. Stoked.