Dreams

I am a huge dreamer. The whole reason I am on this current journey in life is all because of dreams. Not lofty ones and not wishful ones, but those deep sleep intense kind. I think I have mentioned some here before. Not sure. They are often so intense that I don't want to talk about them. I remember and can even still recall most of them, but try to write them down the next day. I find my bizarre dreams written in notebooks all over the house. Underneath a grocery list I will have a half-asleep scribbled sentence about a dream from the night before. However, I rarely sit out and write out a thorough interpretation. I let these dreams resonate deep in my spirit and don't think much with my head, as much as with my heart, about these dreams. I am very good at not thinking with my head.  I really don't like to hear people tell me their dreams. I always get all confused and just feel that they are too science fiction for me to figure out and I never know what really happened versus what was in the dream, so I usually glaze over when people tell their dreams. But don't glaze over! Listen. So. I had a dream about a car flying in the air and driving toward me. The car came through the air, right up to my car, but landed in front of me and drove away. I pulled over, frantically and asked a group of construction workers what that was all about. I was as panicked in the dream as I would have been in real life if a car had been driving toward me and landed on the stretch of road in front of me. The construction workers laughed and were not at all concerned. One of them looked at me and said, "What you just saw where the Four Feasts of Esther". And I woke up.

The dream impacted me in many ways. I woke up with that phrase in my head...four feasts, fours feasts, four feasts. I went to my desk, pulled out my Bible and read about the four feasts within Esther. I then read about Purim and how it is held now in February among the Jews. I decided I would fast at sundown along with them. I found these beautiful works of art, depicting the final feast.

Purim was held this weekend. The fast was held on Thursday! I thought it would be on Saturday, but Saturday was the Celebration and Friday is the Sabbath so Thursday was the day of fasting. I got the dates all wrong. I totally missed it. I thought it was on Saturday. When I reviewed it Saturday morning, I discovered that the Jewish people were actually have a time of celebration and eating these special cookies called hamentaschen or "Haman's Ears".  How could I fast when they were getting to eat cookies? So I messed that all up.

I shared the dream with Terra who had just finished a 14 week study on the book of Esther and we determined that the dream had to do with favor. Esther was certainly favored and perhaps this meant I was to enter a time of favor in my life. I already feel this to be true. Something resonates within me that says that this will be a year of unusual favor, one of relationships and connections that will lead to more of my dreams coming true. Not sure how I know it, but just feel that this will come to pass this year, and it is better to have faith and dream and expect than to not.

In ministry school they offer a small alternative ministry course in art. I love art. It speaks to me. We were created to create. So i took this course. We had to draw a picture for someone else. The boy beside me drew a picture of a car coming out of a river. He handed it to the girl up front and said, "vehicles represent ministry and yours is coming out of an unusual place". I took a part of this to interpret my own little dream. A car and an unusual place. Ministry? What even is that really? And Yes, this is coming from someone in ministry school. I might just fail. Ministry just conjures up not so good thoughts for me. It seems vague. It makes me think of short sleeved dress shirts and cheap suits. And old vans with carpet on the ceiling. I know, I am nuts. But at least I am no longer in denial over it. I don't even know what the word means and I don't even like the word, so how can I have one? Merriam-Webster defines Ministry as, 4 : a person or thing through which something is accomplished. I will take that definition. All the other definitions had the word minister or religion in it and seem lofty and unattainable to me. However, a "person through which something is accomplished". I can do that.

Now I just have to figure out what, when, where and how. What is it that I want to accomplish? If anything could be done through me, using my brain, hands, feet, charm, discerning palate, what would it be? That is a massive question. It has a massive, life long answer. But I thought I would begin to start to address this and walk it out here, with you.  What can I be used to do, where I can give away to others, have all that I need, and love what I do? Sometimes I feel so far from it, and others times just on the verge of something really, really big.